Balance can be seen as “consciously creating a life that reflects your personal values.” This is the key to work-life balance as you cannot balance your time equally or spend all your time in your top priority.

The key is to understand that your intepretation of balance is completely dependent on your values, and the life you envision building.

1. To begin creating balance in your, take some time to focus on what you value most. Rank the following items in order of importance: 1 = most important and 20 = least important.

__ Job

__ Exercise

__ Children

__ Spouse/Partner

__ Friends

__ Church

__ Physical Health

__ Emotional/Mental Health

__ Climate/Geography

__ Money

__ Social Activities

__ Social Status

__ Appearance

__ Food

__ Clothing

__ House/Apartment

__ Co-Workers

__ Meditation

__ Myself

__ Hobbies

__ Relaxation (Type_______)

__ Other:

List your top 5 from above:

2. Now, draw a circle on a page. Think of this as a pie divided into slices representing the time you spend on each activity. Draw slices on your pie showing where you spend your time during the day. (ie., work, family, spouse, health, exercise, etc.)

3. Compare your pie chart with your values. Are there any discrepancies? Does your pie chart reflect your values? If not, what needs to change to reduce those discrepancies?

It is recommended that we get 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Ensuring that you have proper sleep is an essential part of self-care and can help in both physical and emotional disease prevention.

Despite making time for sleep, some people still may have difficulty falling or staying asleep. This pattern can be indicative of underlying anxiety (difficulty falling asleep) or depression (difficulty staying asleep/early awakening), physiological changes, lifestyle changes, or general life stressors. Try and identify what may be contributing to your pattern of sleep disturbance and seek help or support if necessary.

Here are some tips to help improve your sleep:

1. Establish a regular time for going to bed and be consistent. Go to bed and get out of bed at about the same time, regardless of how tired you are. Avoid naps.

2. Do not go to bed too early. Your body normally lets you sleep only the number of hours its needs. If you are going to bed early, ask yourself why (bored, depressed, stress).

3. Use your bed for sleep and sex only. Focus on doing stimulating activities such as talking on the phone, watching TV, working on the computer, in another room. These activities will stimulate you making it more difficult to wind down and sleep restfully.

4. Avoid caffeine products, chocolate, heavy foods, nicotine, and alcohol prior to bedtime. These can disrupt your sleep. Additionally, reduce liquid consumption before bed so you’re not awakened by the need to go to the bathroom.

5. Make sure you get enough to eat before bedtime. Hunger can wake you up during the night as well as being too full before bedtime.

6. Develop rituals that signal the end of the day. Turning out the lights, practicing breathing exercises, having a cup of calming tea, reading a book, taking a warm bath, etc.

7. Go to sleep before you have a “second wind.”

8.  Do not TRY to fall asleep. This will just make you frustrated. Get out of bed if you’re unable to fall asleep after 15-20 minutes and do a relaxing activity until you are sleepy again.

9. Get regular exercise. Exercise reduces stress, which can lead to better sleep. Avoid exercising just before bedtime.

10. Expose yourself to sunlight or bright lights at some time during the day.

11. Keep a dream journal and jot down any unusual dreams that may have woken you from your sleep. Try and identify any conflicts or emotional issues that you may need to address during waking hours. Talk to your counselor for help.

12. Practice breathing and relaxation skills prior to bedtime. If you are unfamiliar with these skills, talk to your counselor or purchase a relaxation skills training CD.

Recommended Reading:

The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) (See all Health, Mind & Body Books)

Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation-Guided Meditation/Relaxation Techniques decrease anxiety, stress, anger (See all Anxiety Disorders Books)

It is easy (and common) to focus on negative things in our everyday life. You might remember what went wrong today vs. what went right, the mistake that was made, the lack of something (people, finances, etc.) in your life and so forth. The negative things don’t necessarily provide a full picture of reality. There are also many, many positive things that go unrecognized. This can also apply in our thoughts about ourselves. We call this negative self-talk. Negative self-talk, when dominant, can erode self-esteem.

To increase self-esteem, try the following exercise daily.

Positive Self-Talk Affirmation

1. Develop a list of ten positive statements about yourself that are meaningful and realistic/true. Focus on character and personality traits vs. skills/hobbies. Ideally, write these statements on an index card that you can carry around with you.

Ex: I am an attentive listener. I am a great problem solver. I am creative.

2.  Find a place to relax, undisturbed for 15-20 minutes. For one - two minutes, meditate on one statement and the evidences for its accuracy (examples from your daily life). Repeat this for each statement.

3. Repeat this exercise every day for ten days. Each day, add an additional statement to your list.

4. Several times a day, look at an item on the list, and, for about two minutes, meditate on the evidence for its accuracy (Ex: I am a caring friend. Proof: My friends call me and trust me to listen and provide feedback to them without judgment. I remember birthdays and do caring things for my friends).

Notice how you feel after practicing this exercise. Notice that you can appreciate your unique, positive qualities.

This exercise was adapted from the book, The Self-Esteem Workbook.

I was recently asked to provide input on how to know if a woman is marraige material. Here is a link to the article http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5653018/10_signs_a_woman_is_marriage_material.html?cat=41 and reprinted below.

10 Signs a Woman is Marriage Material

An Interview with Therapist Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC

 Jaleh, Yahoo! Contributor Network, Aug 14, 2010

Is there a woman in your life that you are considering in marrying? Are you unsure if your woman is marriage material? To help you better determine if your woman is marriage material, I have interviewed therapist Rachel Eddins who will reveal what 10 signs to look for when deciding if the woman your with is marriage material.

Tell me a little bit about yourself

 
“I’m a therapist in private practice and often help people who are either seeking or are in relationships to increase attraction, intimacy, and communication to improve their marriages or relationships. Besides my clinical training, I’ve learned most of what I know through my own experiences with my partner who is open to sharing and growing with me.”

What are 10 signs that a woman is marriage material?

 
1. “A woman is marriage material when she seems to have her stuff together – i.e., she’s comfortable in her own skin, knows who she is as a person and knows what’s important to her – has goals, values, etc.
2. A woman is marriage material when she has a clear sense of their own direction and personal goals and can take initiative towards those goals.
3. A woman is marriage material when she is accepting and respectful.
4. A woman is marriage material when she gives as much as she receives.
5. You can tell a woman is marriage material when there is a balance of partnership to the relationship, it does not feel one-sided.
6. You know a woman is marriage material when you feel loved by the way she is with you. She speaks your “love language” or is willing to learn what makes you feel loved.
7. A woman is marriage material when you both have a romantic relationship as well as a friendship – she is the one you can’t wait to talk to about things that are important to you.
8. Pay attention to how you resolve arguments. Are you able to agree to disagree or are you always to blame?
9. Watch out for criticism blame defensiveness and stonewalling – shutting you out completely – as these are predictors of unhappy relationships.
10. A woman is marriage material if she can be vulnerable and trusting without expecting you to have to solve all their problems.

What advice do you have for someone who wants to marry but is having doubts if the woman he is with is marriage material?

“I would have to ask, “Why are you having doubts?” Explore that further. What are your fears and where are they coming from? Sometimes, doubts can indicate your own fear of intimacy. Sometimes it can indicate that something isn’t right with the partnership in your relationship. You really need to differentiate between attraction and intimacy (this includes emotional intimacy and friendship). Envision yourself at 80 years old talking with this person, what sense does it provide you? Observe how she treats other people to get a sense of her true character. Does that align with your own values? Do you have anything similar in your backgrounds, experiences or interests that connect you? Observe how she interacts with your family and people close to you. Do you have fun together?”

Thank you Rachel for the interview. If you would like more information about Rachel Eddins you can check out her website www.eddinscounseling.com.

Recommended Readings:

Articles:

Signs That a Man is Marriage Material
Are You in a Unhealthy Relationship?
How to Get What You Want in Any Relationship

Books:

Below lists the personality characteristics of people who have found deeply satisfying careers and are able to maintain that satisfaction over their lifespan. This list was compiled from a study of individuals who were happy and deeply satisfied with their work and career path. Can you identify with any of the items on the list? Strengthening any of these areas may be beneficial for you in multiple areas of your life. Most importantly, it may help you to continue to pursue and live a deeply satisfying life.

Personality attributes of people deeply satisfied with their life’s work:

1. Positive sense of self. Self-awareness combined with competency in specific areas = self-confidence.

2. Self-determination. Maintaining realistic views of situations, personal responsibility and clear personal values guide behavior and decisions in a positive direction.

3. Energy. High levels of internal motivation.

4. Strength of character. Tenacity to accomplish goals, resiliency during adversity, ability to tolerate ambiguity, uncertainty and frustration.

5. Relationship with others. Using strategies such as active listening, humor, building rapport, open-mindedness, trust in others, and team work to facilitate positive relationships with others.

6. Relationship to the world. Exhibiting characteristics of positivism, curiosity, enthusiasm, and optimism, that allows for a hopeful and practical approach to functioning in the world.

Wellness can be defined as a way of life oriented toward optimal health and well-being in which body, mind, and spirit are integrated to live life more fully. It is the optimum state of health and well-being that each of us are capable of achieving.

In our practice, we utilize a wellness approach, recognizing the importance of each of these life areas. Changes in one area of wellness affect other areas, both positively and negatively. Healthy functioning in each of these areas is what constitutes a full, rewarding, and meaningful life.

Following are the life tasks comprising overall wellness and life satisfaction:

1. Spirituality: an awareness of a being or force that transcends the material aspects of life and gives a deep sense of wholeness or connectedness to the universe. Positive thoughts and optimism are components of spirituality and are strongly correlated with well-being and resistance to stress.

2. Self-Direction: the manner in which one regulates or directs the self in daily activities and the pursuit of long-range goals. This refers to a sense of mindfulness and intentionality in meeting the major tasks of life. Self-direction includes the following:

• Sense of worth: this refers to having a positive view of the self, confidence in ourselves, excitement for new challenges, and ultimately, high self-esteem.
• Sense of control: having a sense of personal control over your life is associated with emotional well-being (vs. depression). Perceiving that control is within you (vs. at the mercy of others) is associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression and higher life satisfaction.
• Realistic beliefs: accepting yourself as imperfect!
• Emotional awareness and coping:  rich, varied, and frequent emotional expressions and responses are associated with positive relationships and better immune system functioning.
• Problem solving and creativity: intellectual stimulation is necessary for healthy brain functioning. Creativity has a positive effect on life satisfaction, mental health, and overall wellness.
• Sense of humor: especially when accompanied by laughter, boosts physical wellness and enhances healthy aging. (Put-down humor not allowed here – that is related to health problems!)
• Nutrition: nutritional deficits can lead to physical and emotional problems (including obsessive thinking, anxiety, and depression). Lonliness and lack of meaningful social contact is largely associated with poor nutritional health. The first step might be to reach out and connect with others. Join a group, talk to a therapist, or find someone you trust to connect with.
• Exercise: benefits both physical and psychological well-being. Exercise increases strength and self-confidence as well as positive emotionality and enhanced cognitive functioning.
• Self-care: taking active responsibility for one’s overall wellness. Listening to your body both physically and emotionally: What do I feel? What do I need?
• Stress management: recognize stressors in your life and make an effort to reduce or minimize them. A therapist can help! Chronic stress can lead to a multitude of health problems.
• Gender identity: define  your gender role in a way that is right for you and conforms to your own gender identity (vs. expectations of others or society).
• Cultural identity: embrace your cultural identity as a positive personal strength.

3. Work and Leisure: provide opportunity to intrinsically satisfying experiences that provide a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

• Work: work satisfaction is one of the best predictors of longevity as well as perceived quality of life. People who view their career as a calling tend to experience the highest work satisfaction. (Let one of our career counselors help you find your calling if you haven’t done so yet).
• Work-Life Balance: women who place their relationships as more important than work tend to have lower rates of depression and work-life balance conflict. This doesn’t mean the time is spent balanced, it refers to priorities.
• Leisure: leisure activities can be an important way of managing stress and providing relaxation and enjoyment.

4. Friendship: incorporates all social relationships that involve a connection with others (not including familial). We are all born with the capacity and need to be connected with each other. There is a very strong connection between social relationships and physical and emotional well-being.

5. Love: relationships formed on the basis of a sustained, mutual commitment and involvement of intimacy. Committed relationships provide protection against physical and mental illness, increased longevity, and a greater sense of well-being.

Characteristics of healthy love relationships include:

• the ability to be intimate, trusting, and self-disclosing with another person
• the ability to receive as well as express affection with significant others
• the capacity to experience or convey nonpossessive caring that respects the uniqueness of the other
• the presence of enduring, stable, intimate relationships in one’s life
• concern for the nurturance and growth of others
• satisfaction with one’s sexual life or the perception that one’s needs for closeness are being met

Do you find yourself saying, “I feel fat”? What does that really mean to you? Negative body thoughts are often a way of talking to yourself about other issues in your life or feelings that bother you. Learn to decode these messages and stop the negative body thoughts.

There are often psychological factors that affect the way you feel about your body at a particular moment. For example, a negative body thought such as “I feel fat” might be a way to distract you from a particular feeling such as lonliness, sadness, or despair. What happens is that the uncomfortable feeling (lonliness, sadness, despair) gets translated into a negative body thought.

Imagine you are dating someone and you find out that s/he went on a date with someone else when you had agreed on being exclusive. You decide that you’re not going to say anything because you don’t want to “push him/her away.” Suddenly you find yourself criticizing your body. “My thighs are disgusting, I feel so fat.” What happened? Can you decode this message into feelings? Can you see how the discomfort you felt about the situation was displaced into your body? Were you feeling disgusted about the situation? The negative body thoughts helped you from having to confront the situation. Instead, it was directed into your body.

Decode the Feelings:

Here is an exercise adapted from The Diet Survivor’s Handbook. The next time you find yourself yelling at your body, “I feel fat”, “I hate my legs”, see if you can decode the emotional message:

1. Which adjectives (disgusting, etc)  did you use to describe yourself?

2. What aspect of your personality or situation in life do those words describe? I feel fat might equate to feeling heavy, which might equate to feeling sad or depressed. If you say that your arms are too big, what else in your life feels “too big” right now? Is something overwhelming you? I have a big behind might equate to responsibility constantly following you. Your therapist can help you with this if you feel stuck.

3. When you have negative thoughts ask, “I’m yelling at myself about my body. I wonder what would be on my mind right now if I weren’t criticizing myself?” What thoughts and feelings preceded the negative thoughts?

4. Use your understanding of how your negative thoughts reflect emotional aspects of your life to be compassionate with yourself. When you notice that you’re having a bad body image thought, remember that it’s not really about your body.

5. If you find yourself resisting this exercise, “you don’t understand, I really am too fat”, see if you can go a little deeper. The language that you use disguises feelings. There’s a reason that your negative body thoughts occur at certain times and that you pick particular words to describe yourself.

Decoding your negative thoughts helps you directly face other issues in your life that bother you. It also helps you move in the direction of acceptance as you increasingly understand that the words you use to talk to yourself about your body are not objective facts.

Recommended Reading:

The Diet Survivor’s Handbook: 60 Lessons in Eating, Acceptance and Self-Care

Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works

When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Freeing Yourself from Food and Weight Obsession

50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food

Losing one’s job is a life-changing event affecting many areas of one’s life. In addition to the pressure of finding a new job, financial, familial and emotional stresses ensue. Losing one’s job ranks among the top 10 of 43 stressful life events. Job loss causes severe stress. For workers who have worked a long time in congruent occupations and have been positively reinforced, career change is especially difficult. While moving forward with one’s career seems like the obvious next step, it’s important to grieve the job loss and find emotional closure as in order to move into a satisfying career transition.

Job loss has been linked to depression, financial strain, decreased mental health, self-esteem, and subjective well-being.

Emotions commonly associated with job loss include:

- Numbness

- Embarrassment

- Self-Blame

- Loss of Confidence

- Hurt

- Loss of Control

- Paranoia

- Feelings of Failure

- Anxiety

- Anger

- Hostility

- Jealousy of Survivors

- Depression

- Distrust of Employers

- Self-Counsciousness

- Bad Moods

Other symptoms experienced include: restlessness, irritability, depression and preoccupation.

In working with a career counselor on your career transition, it’s important to approach the process holistically. Addressing both complex emotional issues, needs and concerns as well as clarifying your goals and search strategies for your next career. It is recommended to move through the stages of job loss: shock, disbelief, anger, and depression before fully focusing your energy on reemployment. Otherwise, you can get stuck and the emotions you are experiencing may show up in your networking and interviews, leaving a negative impression.

Coping with Job Loss:

1. Control. Focus on what you have control over. You do have control! The need to change your mental framework to one where you firmly believe you have control of the situation is imperative. If you believe you have no control over your career situation, poor career decisions may be made.

2. Feelings. Express your feelings. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Over 60% of people experiencing a job loss experience severe psychological distress.

I am feeling this way about my loss: _____________________________________________________________________

3. Coping. What (non-escaping/addictive) coping strategies have worked for you in the past?

I can make myself feel better by ___________________________and_____________________

4. Acceptance. You have most likely experienced difficulties in the past. How have you gotten through them?

In the past I have learned to accept the following difficult circumstances.

______________________________________________________________

5. Support. Look to family and friends for support. Know that you are entitled to your feelings.

I know I can count on the following friends and supportive resources: ______________________________

6. Increase your flexibility. You may have to find a different type of job, one that pays less, or even compromise your pride to make ends meet in the short-term.

7. Connect. Maintain your contacts and cultivate your relationships. While you may feel down and want to isolate, now is more important than ever to maintain your relationships with others as well as your professional contacts.

8. Combat age discrimination. List only the last 10-15 years worth of jobs on your resume. List all professional development courses, workshops, etc.

9. Life roles. Focus on other role identities aside from work to increase meaning in your life.

10. Trust the Process. You will get through this! Trusting the process often involves relaxing and letting go. Learning to swim or ride a bicycle are common early experiences in trusting a process. Other ways that I have grown by relaxing and letting go are:

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Recommended Reading:

The Job-Loss Recovery Program Guide: The Ultimate Visualization System for Landing a Great Job Now (See all Business & Investing Books)

The Job-Loss Recovery Program: The Ultimate Visualization System for Landing a Great Job Now!

In today’s busy society, it’s easy to operate at full capacity on a regular basis at work. Many people are working longer hours and taking on more responsibilities. There are more demands, information, stimuli and the threat of job loss. What are the effects? Burnout. Though you may feel that you have the energy to continuously manage high demands right now, without proper self-care, you may find yourself hitting the wall.

Stages of Job Burnout

1. The Honeymoon

• Enjoyable stress, enthusiasm, energy, ability to push ourselves farther, eagerness to accept challenges, job satisfaction, fulfillment
• Uses up adaptive energy (special fuel sources that provides power to mobilize body and give strength when under stress; is finite and must be replenished)
• Positive self-care and stress management habits must be utilized or the burnout process begins.
• Idealists, perfectionists, workaholics, high achievers most susceptible to burnout. The more they achieve, the more the work is piled on.

2. Fuel Shortage

• Vague feeling of loss, disappointment, on verge of losing balance.
• Warning signals: job dissatisfaction, inefficiency at work, fatigue, sleep disturbance, escape activities.
• Weekends don’t provide enough time for renewal.
• Starting to avoid interacting with others; isolating from people.
• Still have some energy, can recharge; good opportunity to use stress reduction techniques before moving on to next stage of burnout.

3. Chronic Symptoms

• Feeling that “something is happening to me,” chronic exhaustion, physical illness, anger, depression, hopeless feelings.
• Arriving late at work on a regular basis; avoidance.
• Obsessive thinking about work; work continues to be on the mind even when doing non-work activities.
• Boredom with the job and loss of enthusiasm for projects. Questioning whether work is meaningful.
• Addictive behaviors increase (attempts at self-soothing): increased caffeine, alcohol, TV watching, internet surfing, food intake.
• Important time to find relief, work on “recovering.”

4. Crisis

• Psychological symptoms include negativity, obsession with frustrations, self-doubt, “escape mentality”, despair.

5. Hitting the Wall

• Unable to continue working, loss of control of life, great deal of time and understanding required.

How to Avoid Burnout

1. Practice regular self-care with adequate exercise, nutrition,  and sleep.
2. Reduce intensity in your life (long hours of crunching numbers, cooking dinner after a long day at work, etc.). Try and eliminate those tasks or take a new approach to them.
3. Pace yourself. Our bodies need up and down times. We can work intensely for awhile, but then need a break. Insert quiet and relaxing time throughout your day. Don’t wait until the end of the day to realize you haven’t taken a break, haven’t eaten lunch, etc.
4. Minimize worrying. Worry solves nothing and increases your anxiety. Write down your concerns and talk to a friend or counselor about them, come up with a resolution and take action.
5. Nurture YOURSELF more than others. Learn to say no. Recognize when you are agreeing to long hours or projects due to approval needs vs. self-care. Focus on making time for yourself a priority. Don’t get caught up in caring over the needs of others as a detriment to your own.
6. Set boundaries at work and remember that it will always be there tomorrow.
7. Acknowledge and understand your emotional reactions (anger, loneliness, irritation, fatigue).
8. Plan for balance. Distribute your time and energies to satisfy your needs.
9. Avoid isolation. Create a support system and increase communication skills with others.
10. Set realistic goals and be willing to modify or change them.
11. Maximize resources of time and energy by delegating, sharing jobs, and setting limits.
12. Utilize a revolving “to-do” list and review it daily.
13. Be willing to change and seek help.

The negative effects of stress in our society can be very severe (mental illness, major medical illness). Stress can also have a terrible impact on our quality of life. Stress relates to our ability to change. Stress can also help us to grow, to achieve, to develop courage, and strengthen us. Every problem can help us reach our true potential – great people we were meant to be. It’s important to learn where your stress comes from and identify ways to turn negative stress into positive stress.

The Stress Cycle

1. Stressor – the initiating or maintaing of a stress response – neither positive or negative in nature.

• Physical or environmental – tornado, hurricane, earthquake, rain, extreme heat or cold, traffic, slow elevator
• Social – coworkers, boss, neighbors
• Organizational – unclear/conflicting work priorities, can’t achieve things
• Self-Talk – doing it to ourselves/critical, small voices learned when we were children. Once we become aware of these voices we can begin to make choices

2. Stress Response – physical response. Increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, rapid or shallow breathing, tightened muscles, adrenaline rush, “fight or flight” response.

3. Stress Outcome – short and long term positives and negatives.

• Short-term stress: poor memory, inability to concentrate, lower self-esteem, irritability, disorganized, poor management of work flow, feel out of control. Physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, shaky hands, acid stomach, heart palpitations.
• Long-term stress: bouts of depression, forgetfulness, migraines, addictions, ulcers, allergies, cause of major illnesses and stress-related conditions such as body aches and pains, tension headaches, allergic conditions, skin rash, loss of hair.

4. Positive potential of stress challenge – enhanced creativity and thinking, becoming goal-oriented, decisiveness, increased motivation, sense of control, improved interpersonal relations, high energy levels, endurance.

How does one get the positive potential of stress vs. stress-related illnesses?

Healthy coping strategies:

- Exercise: sports, yoga, taking a walk away from your work area, stretching in office

- Relax: listen to music, take a bath, schedule alone time, practice deep breathing, meditation

- Connect: talk with loved ones/friends, ask for help, pray

Watch Your Thinking:

What we think and believe ultimately shows up in our life. Our behavior is largely determined by the words we use. If our thoughts about ourselves and our abilities are negative, we tend to overlook the positives and the potential. We actually hypnotize ourselves to behave as we think. Every word we repeat and believe tends to shape what we become. Here are some examples:

• I don’t have enough time.
• Nothing ever works for me.
• I have bad luck.
• I have a poor memory.
• I don’t have any patience.
• I have too much to do.
• I’m tired.
• I can’t seem to do anything right.
• I’m too ____ (insert negative characteristic)
• I can’t ____
• I’m afraid ____
• I’m not as good as others.
• No one likes me.

1. Can you identify negative beliefs that you are using? How are they affecting your life? In what way could they be affecting your health? Your success? Your relationships with others?

Essentially, negative thoughts are negative affirmations. Let’s look at how you can use positive affirmations to counteract negative thinking.

Positive Affirmations:

A positive affirmation is an “I AM” statement. It is written in present time and in the positive. They “affirm” something that you desire. This is a simple technique that can change and redirect your automatic thinking if you incorporate them on a regular basis.

1. Create your own basic affirmations beginning with “I am”, “I can”, “I make”, “I am able to”, or “I have”.
2. Write your affirmations on a 3 by 5 notecard and place them in a location you will see daily.
3. Repeat the affirmations out loud to yourself at least 3 times a day!
4. When repeating an affirmation, seek a relaxed state. Then place the affirmation in your mind, and hold it there for at least 30 seconds.

Some samples of basic affirmations:

Growth:

Each day I think new thoughts, positive, creative, energizing thoughts.

I am free of fear and doubt.

I am confident.

Health:

With every breath I take, I breathe in relaxation.

I am strong mentally and physically.

I am filled with vitality and physical stamina.

Relationships:

I am aware of the good in others.

I am flexible and tolerant in my relationships.

I am filled with friendship, love and forgiveness.

Removing Negative Attitudes:

I let go of all limiting thoughts of anxiety and doubt.

I am free of all _____(fill in the blank – malice, hate, jealousy, rensentment, tension, etc.)

I replace it (above) with ___________.

Write your own affirmations:

1.

2.

Use Humor to Beat Stress:

1. Choose to use humor. Recognize that you do choose your emotional response.

2. Look for humor because it is everywhere. Make it a habit to look for the humorous stuff out there.

3. Focus on the positive. Stop all criticism now! Stop criticizing YOURSELF, others, loved ones, parents, children, administrators, coworkers, random people. Stop criticizing situations. You can find lots of stuff to complain about. On the other hand, there’s lots going right as well. Decide to focus on the good.

4. Practice your laugh daily. Take time each day to “force a smile.” Fake it until you make it!

5. Do something silly. Silly comes from the word, “selig” which means happy, healthy, blessed and prosperous. Not so bad!

6. Cut out cartoons you like and post them where you can see them and catch a smile each day.

7. Celebrate! Look for and celebrate the small daily successes that each and every one of us have. This tool will help keep you motivated, increase your morale and energy.

8. Practice! Having fun to relieve stress can be hard work, but the benefits are worthwhile. Keep practicing.

Recommended Reading:

The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) (See all Health, Mind & Body Books)

Stress Management: A Comprehensive Guide to Wellness (See all Health, Mind & Body Books)

The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques: Understanding How Your Brain Makes You Anxious and What You Can Do to Change It (See all Self-Help Books)